He gives and takes away.

2 years ago, tomorrow, God gave us our second little girl, who we named, Faith Makiera. We love her dearly, but this post is not about her. That will be tomorrows. :)

Gloria and Faith were both born in Namibia. We were able to get ultrasounds at every check up. It was nice. The doctors have the machines and it is rather routine to do them at pretty much every visit.

I'll never forget the day. It was a routine check up. I had been feeling so very tired lately and just thought that it was that 'early 1st trimester weariness.' I hadn't remembered being this tired with Gloria, but then again I wasn't looking after a 1 year old as well.

Dr. Burmiester. We really like him. At first, not so much... but he kinda grows on ya. Quiet. Dry (and very funny) humor. Afrikaaner.

I was seven weeks along. He was doing the ultrasound and was very quite. I remember getting a bit concerned. Then he said, 'Well, it looks like twins.'

WHAT?!?! Complete shock. Twins run NO WHERE in either side of our families. ..and I mean, nowhere.

They were in the same sac. It means they were the same gender and identical. We listened to both heart beats. We have the picture. We told everyone we knew. I don't regret it.

3 weeks later, we went back. One was gone.

It was so early that many, though sad for us, didn't see it as 'that big of a deal.' These things happen all the time. In fact, though at first, it was hard to swallow, I think we convinced ourselves that it wasn't as big of a deal. 

My dear friend Lise, in Namibia, called me up and insisted that she was coming to visit. I was irritated. I was fine. I didn't need to process, and to be honest, if I remember right, I had a lot going on that day.

I'm so glad she came.

Lise and her husband have had much suffering and learned much of God's grace in the midst of it. I needed to hear these things. I needed to hear about life. I needed to hear about loss. I needed to hear and see the testimony of the Christian who has been through and in suffering. I needed to hear about how the Christian embraces hard things as coming from the Lord. We don't run from it. We don't pretend it isn't happening. We experience God's grace in it.

So, on this day, I also remember.

I remember that God gives and that He takes away. I remember that He is good, and my heart rests with full and unwavering peace right there. Blessed be His name....